Funny Quotes

 

ha!ha!ha! How funny?

 

 

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later

 

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.

I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

 

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

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